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1. When asked "Is something bothering you?" reply "no" then get pissed off when you are believed.
2. Become attracted to someone because he is outgoing and loves parties, start dating him, and immediately expect him to stop this behavior.
3. Always take an hour longer than promised to prepare for the evening.
4. Always hide very important events in very unimportant terms so you can have something to be pissed about when your boyfriend declines because he has pressing business: i.e. You say "It's no big deal, but I was wondering if you would like to visit my parents with me if you are not busy this weekend." when you mean "It means a great deal to me for you to see my family with me this weekend!
5. Whine.
6. If you are trying to sleep, it's because you're exhausted from your almost superhuman level of daily achievement; if he is trying to sleep it's because he is lazy.
7. If he pays attention to you, he is smothering you.
8. If he gives you space, he is ignoring you.
9. Complain.
10. Hate any bar he likes.
11. Demand to be treated as an equal in everything - except when paying for meals, airplane tickets, concerts, beers, clothes, etc. - these are required gifts proving his love.
12. Declare PMS at any given time. If he is knowledgeable about your cycle, tell him you're irregular from all the stress of your life.
13. Remember that ANY woman who so much as glimpses at your boyfriend must be labeled a WHORE and your network of friends must be informed immediately to spread this as quickly as possible.
14. Make his life miserable by making him feel guilty about doing anything other than catering to your needs.
15. Break into tears for no apparent reason, then use number 1.
16. Ask for help in some endeavor then become livid when it is given.
17. Weasel yourself into your boyfriend's group of friends, break up with him, then make sure you are present at every gathering for the next month just to rub it in.
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The Perfect Man, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Relationship Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/battle.of.the.sexes.a.divorced.perfect.man.htm
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Name Calling, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Relationship Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/battle.of.the.sexes.name.calling.htm
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A Real Lady, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Infidelity Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/lady
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A Woman Thirty Years Younger, Marriage Jokes, Battle of the Sexes Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/marriage.matrimony.wedding.jokes/a.woman.thirty.years.younger.htm
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Mating Bulls, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Marriage Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/battle.of.the.sexes.mating.bulls.htm
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Five Kinds of Sex, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Marriage Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/battle.of.the.sexes.five.kinds.of.sex.htm
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Men Are Like . . ., Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Relationship Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/battle.of.the.sexes.men.are.like.htm
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Following Orders, Battle of the Sexes Jokes, Gallows Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/gallows.dark.following.orders.htm
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Top Fourteen Things PMS Stands For, Top Ten Jokes, Battle of The Sexes Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/pms
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The Escapee, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Relationship Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/battle.of.the.sexes.the.escapee.htm
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Why Pumpkins Are Better Than Men, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Relationship Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/battle.of.the.sexes.why.pumpkins.are.better.than.men.htm
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The Blind Date, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Geriatrics Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/battle_of_the_sexes.the.blind.date.htm
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The New Girlfriend, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Relationship Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/battle.of.the.sexes.the.new.girlfriend.htm
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Pros of Being A Woman, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Relationship Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/battle.of.the.sexes.the.pros.of.being.a.woman.htm
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If You Love It, Set It Free, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Relationship Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/battle.of.the.sexes.if.you.love.it.set.it.free.htm
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A Divorced Woman's Perfect Breakfast, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Divorce Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/battle.of.the.sexes.a.divorced.womans.perfect.breakfast.htm
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How To Impress, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Relationship Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/battle.of.the.sexes.how.to.impress.htm
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Great Female Comebacks, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Relationship Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/
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His and Her Road Trip, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Relationship Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/battle/
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Generation Gap, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Parenting Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/parenting.parents.jokes.generation.gap.htm
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And You Wonder "Why" It Didn't Last, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Divorce Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/battle.of.the.sexes.and.you.wonder.why.it.didnt.last.htm
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Because I'm A Guy, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Relationship Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/battle.of.the.sexes.because.im.a.guy.htm
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The Gentleman On The Bus, Battle of The Sexes Jokes & Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/gentleman
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If Men Got Pregnant, Battle Of The Sexes Jokes, Pregnancy Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/pregnant
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A Man, His Wife, and The Cop, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Marriage Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/marriage.matrimony.wedding.jokes/a.man.his.wife.and.a.cop.htm
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If Men Wrote The Rules, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Relationship Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/battle_of_the_sexes/if.men.wrote.the.rules.htm
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What Women Know About Men, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Marriage Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/battle_of_the_sexes/what.women.know.about.men.htm
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All Wives Are Alike, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Marriage Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/battle_of_the_sexes/all.wives.are.alike.htm
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A Woman Thirty Years Younger, Marriage Jokes, Battle of the Sexes Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/marriage.matrimony.wedding.jokes/a.woman.thirty.years.younger.htm
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Radar, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Marriage Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/battle_of_the_sexes/radar.htm
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Definitely Warm, Battle of the Sexes Jokes, Relationship Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/battle_of_the_sexes/definitely.warm.htm
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Suspicions, Battle of the Sexes Jokes, Marriage Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/marriage.matrimony.wedding.jokes/suspicions.htm
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I Just Want You To Hold Me Tonight
http://www.nursinghumor.com/battle_of_the_sexes/i.just.want.you.to.hold.me.htm
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A Dictionary of Dating
http://www.nursinghumor.com/battle_of_the_sexes/a.dictionary.of.dating.htm
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Translating Men, What They Say & What They Really Mean:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/translating
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I am glad I am a man, I am glad I am a woman:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/battle_of_the_sexes/i_am_glad_i_am_a_man_i_am_glad_i_am_a_woman.htm
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Male Bashing:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/battle_of_the_sexes/male.bashing.htm
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Two Gifts For Adam & Eve,
Battle of The Sexes, Nursing & Medical Jokes & Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/battle_of_the_sexes/two.gifts.for.adam.and.eve.htm
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Why Men Can't Win
http://www.nursinghumor.com/battle_of_the_sexes/why.men.cant.win.htm
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Why We Appreciate Men, A Woman's Perspective
http://www.nursinghumor.com/battle_of_the_sexes/why_we_appreciate_men,_a_woman's_perspective.htm
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Viagra Funnies
http://www.nursinghumor.com/drugs.medications/viagra.jokes.humor.htm
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See also:
- Animals
- Therapeutic Humor Associations
- Attorney & Lawyer, Legal Jokes, Law Humor
- Bar
- Battle of the Sexes
- Bill Clinton Humor, Presidential Jokes
- Bedside Nursing Humor
- Blonde Jokes, Blond Humor
- Brain Teasers
- Cartoons and Comics (Nursing & Medical)
- Changing A Light Bulb Jokes
- Charge Nurse Jokes
- Clowning, Clowns, Therapeutic Humor & Comedy Links
- Dental Humor
- Died and Gone To Heaven, Religious Jokes, Priest & Nun Humor
- Divorce Jokes, Ending A Marriage Humor
- Emergency Department Jokes, ER Humor
- Gallows Humor
- General Nursing Humor
- Geriatrics, Senior Citizen, Nursing Home Humor
- Greeting Cards
- Growing Old Jokes
- Health Maintenance Organization (HMO) or Managed Care Humor
- Inspiration
- Joke Mailing Lists
- Labor and Delivery, Obstetrics
- Law Enforcement Humor, Police Jokes
- Lawyer, Attorney & Legal Jokes, Law Humor
- Legal Jokes, Attorney & Lawyer, Law Humor
- Living With A Nurse, Nursing & Medical Jokes & Humor
- Marriage, Matrimony, Wedding
- Medical Humor
- Medical Terminology
- Merry Christmas, X-mas Jokes
- Nursing Cartoons and Comics
- Nursing Humor Entrepreneurs
- Operating Room Humor
- Parenting Humor, Jokes About Parents And Children
- Pets, Veterinarians
- Priest & Nun Humor, Died and Gone To Heaven, Religious Jokes
- Psychiatric
- Religious Jokes, Priest & Nun Humor, Died and Gone To Heaven
- RN, Nurse Jokes, Nursing Humor
- School Nursing Jokes, Nursing Student Humor
- Speakers Bureaus
- Top Ten Reasons Jokes & Humor
- Veterinarian Jokes, Pet Humor
- Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road Jokes
- You Might Be A . . . . If"
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Last updated by Andrew
Lopez, RN on Friday, March 5, 2010 |