4Nursing.com, Nursing & Healthcare Resources
Battle of The Sexes
17 Ways To Be A WOMAN.... From A Somewhat Bitter Man

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1. When asked "Is something bothering you?" reply "no" then get pissed off when you are believed.

2. Become attracted to someone because he is outgoing and loves parties, start dating him, and immediately expect him to stop this behavior.

3. Always take an hour longer than promised to prepare for the evening.

4. Always hide very important events in very unimportant terms so you can have something to be pissed about when your boyfriend declines because he has pressing business: i.e. You say "It's no big deal, but I was wondering if you would like to visit my parents with me if you are not busy this weekend." when you mean "It means a great deal to me for you to see my family with me this weekend!

5. Whine.

6. If you are trying to sleep, it's because you're exhausted from your almost superhuman level of daily achievement; if he is trying to sleep it's because he is lazy.

7. If he pays attention to you, he is smothering you.

8. If he gives you space, he is ignoring you.

9. Complain.

10. Hate any bar he likes.

11. Demand to be treated as an equal in everything - except when paying for meals, airplane tickets, concerts, beers, clothes, etc. - these are required gifts proving his love.

12. Declare PMS at any given time. If he is knowledgeable about your cycle, tell him you're irregular from all the stress of your life.

13. Remember that ANY woman who so much as glimpses at your boyfriend must be labeled a WHORE and your network of friends must be informed immediately to spread this as quickly as possible.

14. Make his life miserable by making him feel guilty about doing anything other than catering to your needs.

15. Break into tears for no apparent reason, then use number 1.

16. Ask for help in some endeavor then become livid when it is given.

17. Weasel yourself into your boyfriend's group of friends, break up with him, then make sure you are present at every gathering for the next month just to rub it in.

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Top Fourteen Things PMS Stands For, Top Ten Jokes, Battle of The Sexes Humor:
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A Divorced Woman's Perfect Breakfast, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Divorce Humor
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How To Impress, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Relationship Humor
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Generation Gap, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Parenting Humor
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If Men Got Pregnant, Battle Of The Sexes Jokes, Pregnancy Humor
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A Man, His Wife, and The Cop, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Marriage Humor
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What Women Know About Men, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Marriage Humor
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All Wives Are Alike, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Marriage Humor
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A Woman Thirty Years Younger, Marriage Jokes, Battle of the Sexes Humor
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Radar, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Marriage Humor
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Definitely Warm, Battle of the Sexes Jokes, Relationship Humor
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Suspicions, Battle of the Sexes Jokes, Marriage Humor
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I Just Want You To Hold Me Tonight
http://www.nursinghumor.com/battle_of_the_sexes/i.just.want.you.to.hold.me.htm

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A Dictionary of Dating
http://www.nursinghumor.com/battle_of_the_sexes/a.dictionary.of.dating.htm

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Translating Men, What They Say & What They Really Mean:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/translating

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I am glad I am a man, I am glad I am a woman:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/battle_of_the_sexes/i_am_glad_i_am_a_man_i_am_glad_i_am_a_woman.htm

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Male Bashing:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/battle_of_the_sexes/male.bashing.htm

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Two Gifts For Adam & Eve, Battle of The Sexes, Nursing & Medical Jokes & Humor
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Why Men Can't Win
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Why We Appreciate Men, A Woman's Perspective
http://www.nursinghumor.com/battle_of_the_sexes/why_we_appreciate_men,_a_woman's_perspective.htm

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Viagra Funnies
http://www.nursinghumor.com/drugs.medications/viagra.jokes.humor.htm

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Last updated by Andrew Lopez, RN on January 12, 2023


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