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Having Your First, Second, Third Child, Parenting Jokes, Motherhood Humor

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To subscribe, send a blank email to: nursingjokes-subscribe@topica.com ****************************************************** Yes, parenthood changes everything. But parenthood also changes with each baby. Here are some of the ways having a second and third child differs from having your first: Your Clothes 1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy. 2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible. 3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes. The Baby's Name 1st baby: You pour over baby-name books and practice pronouncing and writing combinations of all your favorites. 2nd baby: Someone has to name his or her kid after your great-aunt Mavis, right? It might as well be you. 3rd baby: You open a name book, close your eyes, and see where your finger points. Preparing for the Birth 1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously. 2nd baby: You don't bother practicing because you remember that last time, breathing didn't do a thing. 3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your 8th month. The Layette 1st baby: You pre-wash your newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau. 2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains. 3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they? Worries 1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper, a frown--you pick up the baby. 2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn. 3rd baby: You teach your 3-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing. Pacifier 1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it. 2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle. 3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in. Sleeping 1st baby: Sleeps in your bedroom for the first six - eight weeks 2nd baby: Sleeps in your bedroom for the first two weeks 3rd baby: Goes right from the hospital nursery into their own room Baby Book 1st baby: You religiously make entries every day, carefully noting the number of spit-ups and bowel movements for the first year 2nd baby: You enter a few facts each week but stop after 6 months 3rd baby: You buy the book but enter the child's name, birth weight, and length on the first page Diapering 1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour, whether they need it or not. 2nd baby: You change their diaper every 2 to 3 hours, if needed. 3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees. Activities 1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour. 2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics. 3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner. Going Out 1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home 5 times. 2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached. 3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood. At Home 1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby. 2nd baby: You spend a bit of every day watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby. 3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children. Swallowing a coin 1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays. 2nd child: When 2nd child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for coin to pass. 3rd child: When 3rd child swallows a coin you deduct it from his allowance!! Pass this on to everyone you know who has children...or everyone who KNOWS someone who has had children... (the older the mother, the funnier this is!) ****************************************************** ****************************************************** Where Did It Go? Parenting Jokes, Children's Humor: http://www.4nursing.com/humor-parents-parenting-children-where-did-it-go.html ****************************************************** Top Ten Signs That You Might Be A Frustrated Mom: http://www.nursinghumor.com/frustrated ****************************************************** Just Like Mom, Parenting Jokes, Relationship Humor: http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/parenting.parents.jokes.about.children.the.patient.mother.htm ****************************************************** The Patient Mother, Parenting Jokes, Kids Humor: http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/parenting.parents.jokes.about.children.the.patient.mother.htm ****************************************************** Special Occasions, Parenting Jokes, Children's Humor: http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/parenting.parents.jokes.about.children.special.occasions.htm ****************************************************** Coming Prepared, Pharmacist Jokes, Parenting Humor: http://www.nursinghumor.com/prepared ****************************************************** Answers To Fifth Grade Science Exams, Children's Jokes, Parenting Humor: http://www.nursinghumor.com/answers ****************************************************** Little Johnny Does Math, Childrens Jokes, Parenting Humor: http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/parents.parenting.jokes.about.children.kids.little.johnny.does.math.htm ****************************************************** A Grandmother's Insomnia, Doctor's Jokes, Pregnancy & Medications Humor http://www.nursinghumor.com/insomnia ****************************************************** The Adopted, Parenting Jokes, Adoption Humor http://www.nursinghumor.com/adopted ****************************************************** Generation Gap, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Parenting Humor http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/parenting.parents.jokes.generation.gap.htm ****************************************************** Mom's Dictionary, Kids Jokes, Parenting Humor http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/parenting.parents.jokes.moms.dictionary.htm ****************************************************** Property Laws According To Kids, Childrens Jokes, Parenting Humor http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/parenting.parents.childrens.jokes.property.laws.according.to.kids.htm ****************************************************** Things My Mother Taught Me, Parenting Jokes, Motherhood Humor http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/parenting.parents.jokes.things.my.mother.taught.me.htm ****************************************************** You Might Be A Mom If . . ., Parenting Jokes, Motherhood Humor http://www.nursinghumor.com/mom ****************************************************** ****************************************************** See also: Animals Therapeutic Humor Associations Attorney & Lawyer, Legal Jokes, Law Humor Bar Battle of the Sexes Bill Clinton Humor, Presidential Jokes Bedside Nursing Humor Blonde Jokes, Blond Humor Brain Teasers Cartoons and Comics (Nursing & Medical) Changing A Light Bulb Jokes Charge Nurse Jokes Clowning, Clowns, Therapeutic Humor & Comedy Links Dental Humor Died and Gone To Heaven, Religious Jokes, Priest & Nun Humor Divorce Jokes, Ending A Marriage Humor Emergency Department Jokes, ER Humor Gallows Humor General Nursing Humor Geriatrics, Senior Citizen, Nursing Home Humor Greeting Cards Growing Old Jokes Health Maintenance Organization (HMO) or Managed Care Humor Inspiration Joke Mailing Lists Labor and Delivery, Obstetrics Law Enforcement Humor, Police Jokes Lawyer, Attorney & Legal Jokes, Law Humor Legal Jokes, Attorney & Lawyer, Law Humor Living With A Nurse, Nursing & Medical Jokes & Humor Marriage, Matrimony, Wedding Medical Humor Medical Terminology Merry Christmas, X-mas Jokes Nursing Cartoons and Comics Nursing Humor Entrepreneurs Operating Room Humor Parenting Humor, Jokes About Parents And Children Pets, Veterinarians Priest & Nun Humor, Died and Gone To Heaven, Religious Jokes Psychiatric Religious Jokes, Priest & Nun Humor, Died and Gone To Heaven RN, Nurse Jokes, Nursing Humor School Nursing Jokes, Nursing Student Humor Speakers Bureaus Top Ten Reasons Jokes & Humor Veterinarian Jokes, Pet Humor Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road Jokes You Might Be A . . . . If" ****************************************************** To subscribe to our: Nurse Friendly Notes Newsletter: Send a blank e-mail to: nursefriendlynotes-subscribe@topica.com http://www.nursefriendly.com Nursing Jokes, Medical Humor, Jokes to make you laugh and smile all day. Send a blank email to: nursingjokes-subscribe@topica.com http://lists.topica.com/lists/nursingjokes/ Income OpportunitiesNewsletter Send a blank email to: getpaidnews-subscribe@topica.com http://www.topica.com/lists/getpaidnews/ Clinical Nursing Cases: Send a blank message to: clinicalnursingcases-subscribe@topica.com http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/clinical.cases.htm Inspirational Stories: Send a blank e-mail to: inspirationalstories-subscribe@topica.com http://www.inspirationalnursing.com Make Your Site Sell Marketing Newsletter! Send a blank e-mail to receive "The Affiliate Masters" course... 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Large selection of accessories as well: Accessories Blood Pressure Cuffs, Sphygnomanometers Nursing Tote Bags, Carry-Ons, Medical Bags Clinical, Medical Supplies, Nurses Discount Outlet: Angels, Books, Clothing , Equipment, Figurines, Holidays, Home Decor, Jewelry, Nurses, Office Decor, Scrubs, Shoes, T-Shirts Footwear, Shoes, Sandals, Discount, Bargains Gifts For Nurses (Nurses Week) Hosiery, Socks, Stockings Hats, Jackets, Jumpers Jewelry, Earrings, Necklaces, Watches Luxury Spas, Facials, Manicures, Pedicures Perfumes, Fragrances, Phermones Shoes, Boots, Sandals, Footwear, High Heels, Slippers Stethescopes, Nurse Kits, Replacement Parts Swimwear (Tan-Through) Women's Lingerie " 4nursinguniforms.com ****************************************************** Nursing Chat, Nurse Discussion Forums: http://nursingdiscussions.com ****************************************************** The Uniform Resource Locator (URL) or Internet Street Address of this page is http://www.4nursing.com/humor-parents-parenting-children-having-your-first-second-third-child.html Last updated by Andrew Lopez, RN on June 20th, 2011

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