The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them. Then grabs some sliced limes and eats them. Then jumps onto the pool table, grabs one of the billiard balls, sticks it in his mouth, and to everyone's amazement, somehow swallows it whole.

The bartender screams at the guy "Did you see what your monkey just did?"

The guy says "No, what?" "He just ate the cue ball off my pool table-whole!"

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me,"replied the guy. "He eats everything in sight, the little bastard. Sorry. I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff." He finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff the monkey ate, then leaves.

Two weeks later he's in the bar again, and has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While the man is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it. The bartender is disgusted.

"Did you see what your monkey did now?" he asks.

"No, what?" replies the guy. "Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry up his butt, pulled it out, and ate it!" said the bartender.

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy. " He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he swallowed that cue ball, he measures everything first..."

Constipation, Infrequent Bowel Movements, Bowel Irregularity, Direct Patient Care, Symptoms:
http://www.nursefriendly.com/constipation/

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More Animal, Pet, Veterinary Jokes:

Why Cats Are Better Than Men, Battles of The Sexes Jokes, Cat-Pet Humor:
http://www.4nursing.com/humor-battle-of-the-sexes-why-cats-are-better-than-men.html

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Top Ten Dog Pet Peeves With Humans, Pet Jokes, Animal Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humans

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Cat Wisdom, Animal Jokes, Pet Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/veterinarian.pets.cat.wisdom.htm

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You Know You Are A Dog Person When, Animal Jokes, Pet Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/animal.veterinary.pet.you.know.you.are.a.dog.person.when.htm

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Reasons To Own A Cat Over A Dog, Pet Jokes, Animal Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/animal.veterinary.pet.reasons.to.own.a.cat.over.a.dog.htm

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How Cats Are Like Women, Animal Jokes, Pet Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/animal.veterinary.pet.how.cats.are.like.women.htm

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Jesus Is Watching You, Pet Jokes, Animal Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/animal.veterinary.pet.jesus.is.watching.you.htm

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Sleeping With His Patients, Veterinarian Jokes, Pet Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/veterinarian.pets.sleeping.with.his.patients.htm

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Ran Out Of Gas, Pet Jokes, Children's Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/animal.veterinary.pet.ran.out.of.gas.htm

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The Second Opinion, Pet Jokes, Animal-Veterinary Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/animal.veterinary.pet.second.opinion.htm

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Attitude Adjustment, Animal Jokes, Pet Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/attitude

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Why Dogs Are Better Than Cats As Pets, Animal Jokes, Pet & Veterinary Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/animal.veterinary.pet.why.dogs.are.better.than.cats.as.pets.htm

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The Adopted, Parenting Jokes, Adoption Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/adopted

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Mother-In-Law's Visit (The), Veterinary Jokes, Marriage Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/visit

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The Difference Between Doctors & Veterinarians, Medical Jokes, Veterinary Humor:
http://www.nursinghumor.com/medical/the.difference.between.doctors.and.veterinarians.htm

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See also:

• Animals
• Therapeutic Humor Associations
• Attorney & Lawyer, Legal Jokes, Law Humor
• Bar
• Battle of the Sexes
• Bill Clinton Humor, Presidential Jokes
• Bedside Nursing Humor
• Blonde Jokes, Blond Humor
• Brain Teasers
• Cartoons and Comics (Nursing & Medical)
• Changing A Light Bulb Jokes
• Charge Nurse Jokes
• Clowning, Clowns, Therapeutic Humor & Comedy Links
• Dental Humor
• Died and Gone To Heaven, Religious Jokes, Priest & Nun Humor
• Divorce Jokes, Ending A Marriage Humor
• Emergency Department Jokes, ER Humor
• Gallows Humor
• General Nursing Humor
• Geriatrics, Senior Citizen, Nursing Home Humor
• Greeting Cards
• Growing Old Jokes
• Health Maintenance Organization (HMO) or Managed Care Humor
• Inspiration
• Joke Mailing Lists
• Labor and Delivery, Obstetrics
• Law Enforcement Humor, Police Jokes
• Lawyer, Attorney & Legal Jokes, Law Humor
• Legal Jokes, Attorney & Lawyer, Law Humor
• Living With A Nurse, Nursing & Medical Jokes & Humor
• Marriage, Matrimony, Wedding
• Medical Humor
• Medical Terminology
• Merry Christmas, X-mas Jokes
• Nursing Cartoons and Comics
• Nursing Humor Entrepreneurs
• Operating Room Humor
• Parenting Humor, Jokes About Parents And Children
• Pets, Veterinarians
• Priest & Nun Humor, Died and Gone To Heaven, Religious Jokes
• Psychiatric
• Religious Jokes, Priest & Nun Humor, Died and Gone To Heaven
• RN, Nurse Jokes, Nursing Humor
• School Nursing Jokes, Nursing Student Humor
• Speakers Bureaus
• Top Ten Reasons Jokes & Humor
• Veterinarian Jokes, Pet Humor
• Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road Jokes
• You Might Be A . . . . If"