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A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking, the monkey jumps all around the place.
The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them. Then grabs some sliced limes and eats them. Then jumps onto the pool table, grabs one of the billiard balls, sticks it in his mouth, and to everyone's amazement, somehow swallows it whole.
The bartender screams at the guy "Did you see what your monkey just did?"
The guy says "No, what?" "He just ate the cue ball off my pool table-whole!"
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me,"replied the guy. "He eats everything in sight, the little bastard. Sorry. I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff." He finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff the monkey ate, then leaves.
Two weeks later he's in the bar again, and has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While the man is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it. The bartender is disgusted.
"Did you see what your monkey did now?" he asks.
"No, what?" replies the guy. "Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry up his butt, pulled it out, and ate it!" said the bartender.
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy. " He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he swallowed that cue ball, he measures everything first..."
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More Animal, Pet, Veterinary Jokes:
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Reasons To Own A Cat Over A Dog, Pet Jokes, Animal Humor:
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How Cats Are Like Women, Animal Jokes, Pet Humor:
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http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/animal.veterinary.pet.ran.out.of.gas.htm
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http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/animal.veterinary.pet.second.opinion.htm
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http://www.nursinghumor.com/attitude
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Why Dogs Are Better Than Cats As Pets, Animal Jokes, Pet & Veterinary Humor
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The Adopted, Parenting Jokes, Adoption Humor
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Mother-In-Law's Visit (The), Veterinary Jokes, Marriage Humor
http://www.nursinghumor.com/visit
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The Difference Between Doctors & Veterinarians, Medical Jokes, Veterinary Humor:
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- Pets, Veterinarians
- Priest & Nun Humor, Died and Gone To Heaven, Religious Jokes
- Psychiatric
- Religious Jokes, Priest & Nun Humor, Died and Gone To Heaven
- RN, Nurse Jokes, Nursing Humor
- School Nursing Jokes, Nursing Student Humor
- Speakers Bureaus
- Top Ten Reasons Jokes & Humor
- Veterinarian Jokes, Pet Humor
- Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road Jokes
- You Might Be A . . . . If"
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Last updated by Andrew
Lopez, RN on June 20th, 2011 |